


Redemption

by chasethewind



Series: The Aftermath Series [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-08-03
Packaged: 2017-12-22 08:28:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/911057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasethewind/pseuds/chasethewind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life would never be the same tonight. The past few weeks had led to this moment. It was now or never. She needed to know. Did he feel the same way? Part 3 of the Aftermath Series. The follow up to Aftermath and Temptation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Ah, the muse has been quite active lately! So much writing done, so much more to do! I hope you enjoy this follow up to my other two stories.
> 
> Disclaimer: My original idea, but I don't own the characters or the show. Just trying to be creative.
> 
> Please note: This story is rated M for a reason. Viewer discretion is advised! And please, for the love of god, practice safe sex!

_"And she loved a boy very, very much - even more than she loved herself." ~Shel Silverstein_

Felicity Smoak sighed. Tonight had been much rougher than she could have imagined. Her little world had come crashing down in an instant, all because a madman thought he was doing the city a favor by destroying part of it. She tried not to dwell on the fact that she'd missed the second device in her sweep of the information on the server. Maybe it wasn't even there to begin with? Whatever the case, her heart sank when she found out and realized it was too late to stop Malcolm Merlyn's plan.

All Felicity could do was help Oliver and Diggle navigate through the streets to safety until their connection was severed when the power went out completely, leaving her trapped and scared to death under her desk in the basement of Verdant as dust and debris fell around her. She'd curled up in a little ball, hoping nothing would hit her, but she had been slightly injured as a large block of concrete grazed her knee. That was all though. The shaking had stopped, and she was okay. The same couldn't be said for the building.

Crawling out into the dust and debris, Felicity found widespread damage to the club with cracks spidering across all possible surfaces. Luckily, the foundation still held and she managed to push her way out with only a few cuts and scrapes to her palms. It wasn't until she was outside did she realize the full extent of the damage the device had done to the Glades. Her heart leapt into her throat as Felicity tried to understand the death and destruction around her, but it was just too much to take in.

She wanted to run, to escape, to go home, but her greatest fear paralyzed her. Where was Oliver? Was he okay? The last thing she heard over her earpiece was that he was headed to find Laurel, but not before he made sure Felicity was okay. That made the sting a little better, but it still hurt that his ex was on his mind, especially after all they'd been through these past few days. She'd reassured Oliver she'd be okay and that he should go, but her heart ached.

Wandering around the exterior of the building, she finally found him leaning helplessly against the wall at the back entrance, too weak to stand on his own. She'd rushed to his side and wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him as he leaned against her. Felicity knew he was injured, and from the looks of it quite badly, but it couldn't account for the state he was in, not completely at least. There was something more to the helplessness. Something had happened after they lost contact with each other.

Was it Laurel? Had she been hurt? Had she been… killed? As much as she wanted to revel in something like that, Felicity's heart knew otherwise. She wasn't a spiteful person. If something had happened to Laurel, she knew Oliver wouldn't be here right now seeking out comfort in familiar things. Judging from the state he was in, she knew whatever he'd witnessed wasn't good. Tear tracks cut through the dirt down his cheeks, and his eyes were red and puffy.

Punching in the code, Felicity pushed the door open and led Oliver inside. It was a mess down in the basement, but the medical cabinet hadn't been touched. She rushed to it and pulled out whatever supplies she'd need to patch him up before ducking under her desk and grabbing her oversized purse to stuff it all inside. This wasn't the place to be playing doctor tonight. She needed to get him back to her apartment if she was going to assess his injuries and patch him up. Going to the hospital meant questions neither one of them could come up with answers to.

Felicity's car was still in the parking lot where she'd left it that afternoon when she first arrived, untouched by falling debris and looters. She helped Oliver into the passenger's seat and sped down the ravaged streets until she was out of the Glades once and for all. Leaving behind the destruction, another twenty minutes of weaving past emergency vehicles and hoards of reporters got them to her brownstone safe and sound.

A sigh of relief escaped Felicity's lungs as she unlocked the door and led Oliver inside. She took him straight to the bathroom, setting him down on the lid of the toilet before she finally got a good look at him. His face was still bruised from both of his abductions, real and fake, but new bruises were appearing along his jaw and across his neck. There was a large red stain on his leather jacket just above his heart which made her gasp as she tried to comprehend what happened.

"Oliver," Felicity whispered, her voice cracking with the fear she suddenly felt. Maybe she should have taken him to the hospital. His head rose slowly to meet her gaze, and what she found in his eyes made her heart stop for a moment.

Pain, grief and guilt lay heavy in those beautiful blue pools as tears threatened to spill down his dusty cheeks again. Felicity wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him, but she needed to make sure he was okay first. "You're alright," she murmured, her hands coming up to cup his face as her thumbs traced down his cheeks in an effort to wipe away some of the dirt and grime.

Oliver wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her as close as she could come. He pressed his face to her abdomen as his shoulders began to shake. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Felicity held him for quite some time as he cried softly against her. "It's okay," she repeated several times, running her fingers through his hair in an attempt to comfort him. She could feel the grief in her heart swell as she watched him fall apart in front of her.

Kneeling down, Felicity did the only thing she knew. She cupped his face and placed a soft kiss against his lips. Oliver went rigid for a moment before his body relaxed. He leaned into her kiss, holding onto her for dear life until they were both out of breath. As she pulled away, Felicity gave him a soft, comforting smile. The pained smile he returned was unexpected, but it gave her hope that this was something he would make it through, scarred but not completely broken.

"Let me take a look at you," Felicity said as she took hold of the zipper at the front of his jacket and began pulling it down to reveal the true extent of his injuries. The bloodstain on the green leather was only the tip of the iceberg. Gently peeling it away made her cringe. Blood dripped down the side of his grey t-shirt all the way to the hem. Her mouth gaped in shock as she tried to process it all.

"Oh, my god…" Felicity whispered. She eased the jacket down Oliver's shoulders and let it fall to the floor beside her knees. Turning to the cabinet beneath the sink, she pulled out a pair of scissors to cut away the t-shirt instead of making him try to pull it over his head. She'd seen the way he grit his teeth as she slipped off his jacket. There was no need to put him through anymore pain.

Snipping away the grey fabric revealed a puncture wound the size of a quarter a few inches above his heart. "Ol-Oliver… Wh-?" Felicity stuttered. Her hand immediately grabbed her purse to pull out a pair of gloves and the medical supplies she'd thrown into it: gauze, cotton pads, bandages, tape, antiseptic wipes. She laid them on the counter in a neat little row.

Oliver could see the shock and concern permeating the blue depths of her eyes. She was worried far more than he'd ever seen her. Had she looked like this when he got shot? He couldn't remember. Everything about that night was still hazy aside from waking up in the foundry to see her relieved smile. That smile had gotten him through a lot these past seven months. It's what was getting him through the night. He needed to see that smile.

Leaning in, he kissed her once more. Felicity pulled away for a moment and said, "As much as I'd like to keep this make out session going, I really need to-" His lips were pressed to hers again before she got a chance to finish. Her gloved hand came around his neck to keep her balance.

"Please," Oliver begged when he pulled away and pressed his forehead to hers, "I just need to feel something other than pain."

Felicity swallowed the lump in her throat. "Okay," she whispered before tentatively leaning into his kiss. How could she deny Oliver when she could hear the anguish in his voice? Putting her jumbled feelings for him aside, she allowed him to pull her into his arms as she closed her eyes and just let everything go for a moment. He was in pieces, and if this helped to put him back together, then she'd do it just to ensure he wouldn't do something rash later.

Leaning into his embrace, Felicity didn't realize she'd pressed her shoulder against the hole in his chest until Oliver pulled back suddenly and hissed his discomfort. "Oh, my god!" she cried. "I'm so sorry!" Felicity backed off immediately and began grabbing medical supplies. As much as she'd wanted to continue that kiss, she knew he needed medical attention.

"It's fine," Oliver replied as he sucked in a painful breath.

"Please, let me take care of you," Felicity said. She grabbed the antiseptic wipes and tore the package open. Her eyes shifted to the hole in his chest as she began to wipe away the blood that had caked over the wound. A quick glance up showed Oliver steeling himself against the pain. She worked faster, wiping away the blood until she could see the torn skin beneath. Thankfully it was smaller than she originally thought and probably wouldn't need stitches.

As she began unfurling the cotton pads, Oliver gazed down at her and said, "There's more." Felicity gave him a quizzical look. He added, "It's a through-and-through." Her eyes widened as she glanced at his back to find the exit wound and she gasped audibly.

"Oliver!" Her voice was laced with shock and concern as she tossed the cotton back on the counter and grabbed the scissors. Snipping away the grey fabric revealed a hole the same size as the one on chest, also caked with blood. She opened another antiseptic wipe and began to clean out the wound. As she scrubbed away the blood, her mind began to wonder how this could have happened.

"It was the only way to get Malcolm," Oliver said and she realized she'd accidentally said it out loud.

Felicity sat back on the balls of her feet. "So you stabbed yourself in the chest?" she incredulously replied.

"It was either that or he snapped my neck," he softly answered. The way Felicity's face dropped when he revealed that fact made Oliver wish he hadn't told her. Deep lines of worry creased her forehead as she went back to work cleaning him up.

"Felicity," Oliver said as his hand came to rest on her forearm as she reached for the cotton pads. Their eyes met. He could see the war going on behind those deep blue pools. She wanted to ask him what happened tonight, but she wouldn't let herself. He appreciated her respect for his privacy. It really said something about her ability to be patient with him. Oliver would tell her sometime soon, just not right now. It was all too fresh in his mind.

"I know," Felicity said with a weak smile. His heart warmed slightly. He leaned in and kissed her again, only this time he didn't linger.

With her knees beginning to ache from sitting in the same position for so long, Felicity stood up and stretched. She glanced at the medical supplies laid out on her counter then over at Oliver; dirty, disheveled, exhausted Oliver… Pulling off her gloves, she threw them in the trash can beside the toilet and made her way to the tub. She screwed the cap over the drain and turned on the faucet.

"What are you doing?" Oliver asked.

"Drawing a much needed bath, for both of us," Felicity answered with a wry smile. She reached under the sink to pull out a small stash of bath salts saved for occasions that called for something more than just soap. Sandalwood rose would be perfect for tonight. She sprinkled some into the water and waited for the tub to fill up halfway before she shut off the faucet. The scent filled the room and almost instantly Felicity felt her muscles relax.

Sighing, she pulled off her pink cardigan and let it fall to the floor beside Oliver's jacket and hood. As Felicity reached for the zipper at the back of her dress, she could feel his eyes fall on her. He stood up and stepped behind her to help pull it down. The straps were then pushed from her shoulders allowing the soft navy and white polka dotted cotton to slip away from her body and pool at her feet leaving her in a navy bra and matching panties.

The way Oliver's hands traced back up her arms sent a shiver down her spine. Felicity sucked in a shaky breath trying to reign in her feelings, but not matter what, they continued to creep in. Malcolm's plan had unfolded much too quickly for them to discuss what they felt for each other. Now she was left confused but unable to leave Oliver's side, fearing he'd do something stupid if she wasn't around to keep him from falling apart. He was teetering on a very fine edge right now. Anything she could do to stop him from jumping off it, including sacrificing her feelings yet again, Felicity would do it.

Oliver's fingers deftly unhooked her bra, reminding her she needed to focus. It was pulled away from her flushed skin and discarded with the rest of her clothes. His hands fell to her hips, peeling away her panties until they slid down her thighs and landed at her feet.

Completely naked, Felicity turned around to face him. She still hadn't cut the rest of the shirt off and went to grab the scissors. Her hands made quick work of the tattered fabric until it hung open off his shoulders. That's when she noticed the darkening bruises all over his sides and abdomen. "Oh, Oliver," she breathed, her fingers lightly tracing over his skin.

"I'm okay," he murmured, taking her wrists and pulling them away so he could slip what remained of the shirt off. It fell to the floor at his feet leaving him in only his green leather pants.

"You haven't been okay in a while," Felicity stated as she took off her glasses and placed them on the counter beside the sink. When Oliver glared at her, she added, "Your words, not mine, remember?"

His expression softened and he nodded. Of course he remembered. He'd said those exact words to her two days prior, just before the second time he'd shared her bed. They still rang true, though. Oliver wasn't okay. He was very, very far from it, if not the opposite. The life he'd known, the life he'd created; they had both fallen apart in a matter of hours. Had it not been for Felicity, he didn't know where he would be right now. Probably lying on the ground somewhere praying for death to come take him, he thought cynically.

Oliver reached out for her and she stepped forward into his arms, her head falling to his chest as he wrapped himself around her. They stood for quite some time, his hand pulling the elastic band out of her hair so he could run his fingers through the soft golden strands. It was a simple comfort, but comfort nonetheless, and gave him something else to focus on other than the past few hours.

"Come on," Felicity said as she pulled away. "The water's getting cold." Her fingers worked the fly of his leather pants undone before slipping them off his hips along with his briefs. Now they were both naked, and all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and hold her tight, but she was already stepping into the steaming water.

Felicity sank into the tub, the heat enveloping her body as she let her head fall against the porcelain. "Join me," she whispered, reaching for his hand. Their fingers laced together and he stepped in at the other end so they faced each other. "Feeling better?" she asked as he settled in and mirrored the way her body slumped against the side of the tub.

"A little," Oliver replied. The warm water felt good against his aching muscles as he sank deeper until it was up to his chin. He could feel Felicity's hand settle against his calf as she made herself a little more comfortable. There wasn't much room in the tub, but she was small and fit easily almost anywhere. As her head drooped back against the porcelain, he watched her.

She had her eyes closed, her arms spread out over the sides of the tub. A soft sigh escaped her lips as the curves of her breasts barely rose and fell above the water's edge. Felicity looked at peace, almost as if she could fall asleep right there. Oliver couldn't help but wonder what was going on in her mind, how she managed to even find peace when so much had happened these last twelve hours.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

Felicity opened her eyes and gazed at him, her expression soft and thoughtful. "Places I've been. Places I'd like to go. Peaceful things like sandy beaches and puppies," she answered. "I know its cliché, but it helps me escape when I really need to get away for a little while. It also helps that I took a meditation class in college that helped me de-stress during finals. Although, I don't think ten cups of coffee per night were part of the course curriculum. Imagine trying to meditate when there's computer code running through your mind like the Matrix because you're hopped up on caffeine."

Oliver chuckled, "I can imagine."

"You should try it sometime," Felicity replied. "The meditation I mean, not the ten cups of coffee a night to stay awake for finals."

"I've tried," he said, brushing past her ramble as he always did, "but it's hard when you've got so much on your mind."

She paused for a moment and pursed her lips. "You know, sometimes just the act of sharing a painful secret can relieve some of the pain," Felicity finally said as she gazed at him from beneath her long lashes. She wasn't sure how Oliver would take her veiled attempt to get him to open up tonight. Whatever happened, she was ready. If he didn't want to talk, she wouldn't push. If he did, she would listen and try not to ask questions.

A long, almost painful silence stretched between them as Oliver stared at her. For a moment Felicity thought she'd pushed him too far and was getting her apology ready when the softness of his voice startled her. "Tommy died in front of me tonight," Oliver whispered. She could hear the subtle crack in his voice as emotions he'd been trying to hold back bubbled to the surface.

"Oliver," she breathed, trying to wrap her mind around his admission. Of all the people Felicity thought could have died tonight, Tommy Merlyn was the last one she expected. She sat up in the tub ready to wrap him in a hug at a moment's notice, but Oliver's eyes were downcast.

"He saved Laurel.  _He_  saved her. But I… I couldn't save him." The emotions were painfully raw in his voice as he gazed up at her, blue eyes glossy with tears. Tommy was his best friend, his surrogate brother, the one person who'd been there for him since the beginning.

"Oh, god… I'm so sorry," Felicity whispered. She truly did not know what to do at that moment. Her heart broke for him, for the both of them really. Although she never got to know Tommy well, she knew enough through overheard conversations and internet searches that he and Oliver had been inseparable since they met as children.

Before she knew it, Oliver was already shifting from his position at the other end of the tub and crawling into her outstretched arms. Felicity lay back so his head fell beneath her chin and their arms wrapped around each other. She could already feel hot tears falling against her skin and tightened her hold as she pressed soft kisses against his forehead.

The emotional roller coaster of that day was taking its toll on her as well. Felicity did her best to hold it together, but even she wasn't completely immune to the feelings that the day's events brought forth. Tears welled in her eyes. She tried to fight them, but to no avail. Her heart already hurt for all the people who had been affected by this meaningless act of violence, and now adding Oliver's grief finally sent her over the edge. She blinked them away and let out a shaky sigh. His arms held her a little tighter as well, the cycle of comfort coming full circle.

They laid there for the better part of an hour holding each other until the tears subsided. "I hope you're not planning on falling asleep in here," Felicity said, trying her best to lighten the mood. She could feel the smile curl over Oliver's lips as he shook his head. "Good, because I still need to clean you up and finish dressing that wound before you get to go to bed."

"I'm all yours," he whispered, turning around so his back was to her.

Felicity grabbed her shampoo bottle and poured a small amount into the palm of her hand. "I hope you don't mind smelling like a girl," she said, massaging it into his scalp. The scent of raspberries and vanilla permeated the air.

"It could be worse," Oliver replied, resting his chin on his knees. The feel of her fingers rubbing gentle circles through his hair allowed him to relax. He closed his eyes, enjoying it more than he thought possible. Felicity's simple gestures always had that effect on him. Her smile, her nervous ramblings, the way she talked with her hands; he realized they all had become part of her allure.

"Tip your head back and keep your eyes closed," Felicity instructed. Warm water cascaded through his hair as one of her hands squeezed a saturated sponge over it while the other did its best to rid him of the shampoo. She dipped the sponge back into the water and squeezed it over his head again until the shampoo was rinsed out.

"You're done," she said. Oliver opened his eyes and gazed up at her. For a moment, Felicity felt her breath catch in her throat. God, his eyes were beautiful. They were the same blue as the sky just after sunrise. She couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips as she looked down at him. For the first time that night, she saw him smile that gorgeous, genuine Oliver Queen smile she so rarely got to see anymore and her heart fluttered.

Realizing she had been staring for too long, Felicity turned and grabbed her bottle of shower gel. "Sit up," she said as she poured some of it into the sponge still in her hand. It, too, smelled of raspberries and vanilla. As Oliver leaned forward again, she ran it along his shoulders in gentle circles, being very careful when she reached the wound that had pierced through the dragon tattoo at his back.

Felicity paused and stared at it for a moment wondering where he'd gotten it and why. One day she'd ask, but right now, there were more pressing matters that needed to be attended to, like finishing this bath and patching him up. Oliver was patient with her as she ran the sponge down his long, muscular arms. It wasn't until she reached the tips of his fingers that he turned his head and placed a soft kiss against her upper arm. A jolt of heat ran down her spine and she instantly froze. He kissed his way down to her elbow before stopping.

"I've never done this before," Oliver whispered as he leaned back against her, his shoulder falling just below her chin.

"What?" Felicity was knocked out of her stupor when she felt the weight of his body press against her chest. She recovered quickly with, "Taken a bath?"

"Given up control," he answered.

Felicity swallowed. 'Did he just say what I thought he just said?' she asked herself, unable to believe what she was hearing. All of a sudden, the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. Oliver had taken a back seat and was letting her control the shots tonight. "Um… I… Uh… Huh?" was all she managed to babble in the wake of her revelation.

"I trust you, Felicity. I know you won't hurt me. Not intentionally," Oliver said.

"I'd never hurt you," she murmured, her hand skimming the sponge across his chest in order to focus on something aside from the feelings that had suddenly sprung up from the cage in her mind. Just when Felicity thought she had a handle on her emotions, Oliver had to go and say something like that? How much she wished she could tell him the things that were going on in her mind. But it had only been a few hours since the tragedy in the Glades. If she told him now, he would most likely think it was due to that and not the fact that she truly had feelings for him that went beyond their friendship.

"I know. That's what makes you so remarkable," Oliver replied, placing his hand on top of hers and squeezing it. Did he know what he was doing to her? How much it affected her when he touched her and said things like that?

Felicity sighed. "I think I'm done," she said, reaching beneath her to unplug the drain and let the dirty water run out of the tub.

"What about you?" Oliver asked.

"Me?" For the life of her, Felicity couldn't figure out what he was talking about.

"Don't you wanna clean up?"

"Oh…" Now it made sense. She'd drawn the bath for both of them but hadn't let herself enjoy it. Her focus had solely been on Oliver and she forgot to bathe herself.

He was standing now, his hand stretched out to her. She took it and he helped her to her feet. After pulling the curtain closed, he reached around her body and turned on the shower. The cold water that came spraying out made her squeak and jump back straight into his arms.

Oliver chuckled, "I'm sorry." The tension in her body lessened, but Felicity still felt slightly on edge with her feelings running so wildly through her mind. As his arms circled her waist and pulled her close, she could feel her breath catch as she tried not to focus on the fact that they were, yet again, standing naked in her shower.

It didn't take a genius to see what was going on. Oliver felt it the moment Felicity's back was pressed to his chest. She was tense, and he could understand why. Their conversation from the previous day came to mind. He knew they should have talked about their feelings for each other sooner, but with everything that had happened between their last encounter and this moment, there just wasn't time.

Finding himself between a rock and a hard place, Oliver did his best to gloss over his own feelings for her. But standing so close to Felicity's bare skin and feeling the racing beat of her heart as she tried to do the same only made them harder to push down. To shift focus, he grabbed her shampoo bottle and poured some into his hand then gently began massaging it through the long strands of her hair.

The smell of raspberries and vanilla filled his nose again and he couldn't help inhaling it deeply. There were so many occasions where he'd come close enough to get a brief whiff of it in the foundry, but now it was all around him. The scent was unique to her and always conjured up vivid memories of the time they'd spent together. How had he become so attached to her in such a short amount of time? It had taken years to fall in love with Laurel. But Felicity was a whole other ballgame.

Constantly lying to Laurel had taken a toll on their friendship and any possibility for a future together. Now with Tommy's death, he had no idea where it left them. With Felicity, though, she knew everything, and whatever she didn't know, she would find out eventually. That's what was so great about her. She didn't push Oliver to tell her things. She was patient and kind and forgiving. She accepted him and all his faults, no questions asked.

Their relationship, he realized, was built on understanding and trust, something he really never had with Laurel. It gave Oliver a whole new outlook on how things had gotten to this point and the potential for their future together.  _Their future together_ … Those three words stunned him. He seriously was considering what it would be like to have Felicity by his side for much longer than he'd originally planned. After all, they'd found Walter and she continued to work with him even after things got complicated.

So why was he having such a hard time admitting that his feelings for Felicity ran much deeper than they had ever run for Laurel? The fear of losing her came to mind. Oliver had sworn to protect her and he'd already failed to do so on several occasions. He was scared that someday he wouldn't be there to save her in time and that she'd be gone, just like Tommy.

'No! You can't think like that anymore!' his mind shouted, forcing Oliver to focus on something else. 'Remember what she told you? "You shouldn't be afraid of your past ruining your future."' It was a comforting thought; one that he knew would get him through the darkest of days. He repeated it a few more times before it finally sank in and he took a deep breath to clear his mind.

Guiding her under the shower spray, Oliver began to rinse the suds out of her hair as she closed her eyes and tilted her head back. Felicity's shoulders loosened up as his fingers gently massaged the soap out of her golden locks. She was starting to enjoy it, he could tell. Her body had finally begun to relax. He grabbed the shower gel next and lathered it up in his hands then slowly began working it down her body starting at her shoulders.

Felicity heaved a breath when his hands reached her breasts. Although she had anticipated it, nothing could have prepared her from the sudden heat that began pooling between her thighs. They lingered for much longer than they should have, cupping and massaging the soft mounds until she could no longer hold in the moan threatening to escape her lips. Her body betrayed her mind as she turned around, her arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him into a desperate kiss.

The risk of getting hurt was outweighed by her need for Oliver. It shut down rational thought until it became a figment of her imagination. Felicity focused on the way his rough fingers sank into her hips as he pressed her against the cool tile wall. His lips found their way to her neck while his right hand snaked between her legs and began stroking her the way it had the first time they'd been together.

Feeling her knees go weak, Felicity threw her arms around his neck to hold herself up while he continued kissing and stroking her. Down her neck his lips went, his left hand grabbing onto her breast and giving it a good squeeze while his mouth clamped down over the other and played with her nipple. He rolled it between his teeth making her groan as she continued to hold onto him for dear life.

But Oliver didn't stay there for long. His downward trek continued until he was kneeling in front of her. Rough hands pushed her legs apart as tender kisses made their way up and down her inner thighs. Felicity moaned. Her fingers dropped into his wet hair guiding him to where she wanted those incredible lips.

The combination of the water running down her body mixed with the way his hands and lips felt over her skin was indescribable. Felicity couldn't control the moans that reverberated off the tile walls as he closed in on his target. Reaching her apex, Oliver lifted her leg and brought it to rest on his shoulder.

"Oliver!" she gasped when his lips made contact with her wet folds. His tongue darted out and slid between them, flicking over her clit until her head rolled back as her body shuddered with pleasure. His name spilled from Felicity's lips again and again. It was the permission he needed to continue sucking and licking until her budding orgasm fully blossomed into a series of undecipherable sounds that filled the bathroom.

Felicity raked her fingers through his hair until the shockwaves subsided. His strong arms held her against the wall until her body stopped shaking. A satisfied smirk had come across his lips as he looked up at her with those molten cobalt eyes. As he stood, he wrapped his arms around her waist and her head fell to his chest as she continued sucking in deep breaths in an effort to calm down.

"I've always wondered what you'd taste like," Oliver whispered against her ear.

"How was I?" she purred back, a sly smile curling her lips.

"Delicious," he replied before leaning into her. Felicity was pressed to the wall again as his lips lazily explored hers. She moaned, tasting herself for the first time. Instantly, her arousal skyrocketed.

Her hand wandered down his well muscled abdomen until it wrapped around his cock. He deepened the kiss in response, his tongue entering her mouth and they battled for dominance before he won out. As she continued stroking him, he reached around, grabbing her behind and giving it a firm squeeze. Felicity groaned and tightened her grasp around his cock. Before long, he pulled his lips from her mouth and dragged them along her jaw. She could feel his hot breath against her neck come in short desperate pants and knew he was close when his teeth raked across her skin.

"Felicity," Oliver groaned. He held her tight against the wall, pulling both her legs up until they wrapped around his waist. Sinking his teeth into the base of her neck, Felicity let out a deep moan. He was staking his claim but she didn't resist. Her fingers raked down his back in response as she hissed her approval.

"Oh, god!" Felicity shuddered when he readjusted their position so the tip of his cock rested at her entrance. She ground her hips into his and he slowly pushed into her slick folds. "Oliver!" she cried, her head rolling back against the tiles as her eyes squeezed shut. She loved the way he purposefully went as slow as possible, making sure she felt every inch of his throbbing cock slide into her. It made her toes curl as she squeezed her thighs around his hips.

Oliver's lips traveled down her chest until his mouth found her left breast and wrapped around the nipple. Felicity arched her back, pressing her chest against his face as she felt his tongue flick over the sensitive nub relentlessly. Her eyes rolled back into her head as her mouth hung open releasing near constant cries of ecstasy. Their hips met and parted, establishing a steady rhythm that increased slowly as she buried her fingers into his back.

His thrusts became harder, slamming her back against the wall with force. The increased roughness only made Felicity cry out louder and dig her nails into his skin leaving the same crescent shapes as their previous encounters. She brought her hand up to the back of Oliver's head and pulled him even closer to her chest. His teeth bit down on her nipple causing her to shudder and moan loudly.

The incredible mix of his mouth on her breast and his cock pounding into her sent Felicity closer to yet another orgasm. Her toes curled and her hands tightened into fists in his hair as her body tensed. Gasping for breath a couple of times before finally throwing her head back, she let out a loud cry that echoed through the room when Oliver hit that magical spot that made her cum instantly. Her walls clamped down around him as his name spilled from her lips.

Although Oliver enjoyed the way her muscles squeezed around him when she came, it was the involuntary twitches in the wake of her orgasm that finally coaxed him to his own climax. With one final thrust that buried him to the hilt, he bit down on Felicity's neck to muffle the deep, guttural groan that escaped his throat as he let himself go. It sent her into a second orgasm, her muscles growing tight around him once more until they were both spent.

They heaved against each other's chests slowly coming down from their highs while the warm water continued to cascade over their heated bodies. Felicity rested her head against Oliver's shoulder, her eyes closing as she replayed every last detail of the encounter in her mind. A content sigh escaped her lips as she snuggled closer to his warm shoulder and placed soft kisses across his skin.

Oliver gently set her back down, but her wobbly legs sent her falling into his arms. "I've got you," he whispered, holding her tight to him. Turning off the water and throwing the shower curtain open, he reached for a towel from the rack and wrapped it around Felicity's shoulders before scooping her up into his arms. Her head fell against his shoulder as he carried her out of the bathroom and into her bedroom across the hall. Before he laid her on the bed, he pushed back the covers so he could tuck her in then headed back to the bathroom.

As he stood in front of her mirror, Oliver's thoughts returned to his feelings for the blonde IT girl whose bed he'd been sharing. His heart was in a war with his head when it came to her. Every fiber in his being told him that his feelings for her shouldn't be kept locked inside any longer, but his head reminded him that when he had feelings for someone, the possibility of them being used against him rose exponentially. He couldn't have that happen. Not with Felicity. And that's where the problem lay.

Could he protect her  _and_  love her? Did they even stand a chance? Yes was the resounding answer from his heart. Oliver wanted so badly to listen, to cast aside the rational part of his brain in favor of something he hadn't felt in what seemed like ages, but he just couldn't do it.

Shaking his head, Oliver cleared his mind and figured it would probably be a better idea to think about this after getting some sleep. He quickly patched up his chest wound and returned to Felicity's bed, slipping beneath the covers to find her already fast asleep. The clock on her nightstand read 4:36AM. His arms slipped around her waist and he pulled her to his chest. Feeling her soft breaths fall against his skin, he closed his eyes. Sleep came surprisingly quick.


	2. Chapter 2

The bleary numbers 2:18PM were the first things Felicity saw when she woke up. She reached over to her nightstand in hopes of finding her glasses, but they weren't there. Where had she put them? Her sleep addled brain wondered as she rolled onto her back. Bits and pieces of the previous day slowly began filtering through her mind. The device, the earthquake, the aftermath, Oliver… Oliver! She turned her head and found him fast asleep beside her.

Her racing heart stilled. Oliver was still there. He was okay. Felicity sighed and turned to face him. He looked so peaceful as he slept, a far cry from the pain she'd seen on his handsome face the previous night. It broke her heart to see him hurting. All she wanted to do was keep the pain away, but her efforts always seemed to be in vain.

As her hand came to rest on his cheek, Felicity let her mind wander back to her feelings for him. Oliver had become an important part of her life. He'd freed her from the confines of what could have been a boring existence and opened her eyes to so many possibilities. For that she was thankful, but there always came a price. Some of their missions resulted in casualties, something she had a hard time dealing with. But she remained, knowing her presence helped Oliver realize that saving lives was more important than taking them.

That had been one of her first major lessons in helping his alter ego. The balance Felicity brought to their team dynamic seemed to trickle down to everything they did. As time passed, Oliver had become more aware of her opinions and had started to take them into account in the way he did things. The trust she saw building between them had blossomed into something so strong, not even their complicated relationship status could break it.

But that's where her issues lay. Felicity had become a little too attached to Oliver now that they'd begun sleeping together. The harmless crush she'd had on him from the day they met had intensified into full blown infatuation once she started working for him in her spare time. Then came the casino incident and she realized he, too, hadn't been able to fully keep his feelings in check when he'd taken her home and stayed with her when she'd sought out comfort in what was probably the worst way possible.

Now, here she was, lying beside the Oliver Queen she had accidentally fallen in love with, the one with scars so deep they weren't just physical. Felicity had tried to keep her emotions in check, but the way he'd thrown caution to the wind that day in the foundry when he kissed her, she knew the dam had broken and there was no way to fix it - not without hurting herself or hurting him. But she couldn't hurt him, not after all he'd been through. Instead, she chose to let the pain fester in her own heart, only letting it out when she was alone.

A tear slid down her cheek as she tried not to let the pain get to her now, but that only made it worse. She wanted Oliver to acknowledge that he felt something too, but he was so emotionally unstable right now. His father had heaped a responsibility on him so great he'd completely altered his existence for it. His mother had lied to him and betrayed him by working with Malcolm Merlyn to destroy part of the city. And his best friend had died saving someone they both had once loved. Felicity didn't even want to bring up Laurel at that moment because it would push her over the edge.

The fact that Oliver had gone to try and help her reminded Felicity she was only going to play second fiddle to the woman who already held his heart. But even that didn't stop the unconditional love she felt towards him. Maybe it was because they had become such close friends - family even - and the way they trusted and understood each other that kept her coming back for more even though it was at the expensive of her sanity. Whatever the case, Felicity knew that she could never fully pull herself away from Oliver. She could try, but it would only cause them more pain.

'He needs to know how I feel,' she told herself. 'I need to put it all out on the table once and for all. I don't care that we've just been through hell. He needs to know, even if he doesn't feel the same way.' It was a frightening thought, telling Oliver what she was feeling, but Felicity knew it was the only way she could regain some sense of balance in her life. She couldn't keep loving him more than she loved herself.

"Good morning." Oliver's raspy voice startled her back to the present. An involuntary smile appeared on her lips as she stared into those beautiful sky blue eyes.

"Good  _afternoon_ ," Felicity corrected. "It's a quarter past two."

"Then good afternoon," he replied, closing the small gap between their lips with a soft, gentle kiss that lingered for a couple moments before he pulled away.

Felicity sighed as her fingers traced the contours of his face. "We need to talk," she said, her gaze wavering.

"I know," Oliver replied, already sensing the heaviness in her voice. He'd been awake from the moment her hand had touched his cheek, watching her as her eyes spaced out in contemplation. It wasn't hard to figure out what she was thinking. Those thoughts had been on his mind as well and now was as good of a time as any to finally shed light on them.

"Oliver, I…" Felicity paused for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to say it. "We can't keep dancing around this. It's taking a toll on me and I don't think I can handle it anymore. I have feelings for you, deep feelings that I know will scare you as much as they scare me, but I can't keep them to myself anymore. I have to tell you."

"Then tell me," he said, his hand reaching up to stroke the tangled strands of her golden hair. "I promise I'm not going anywhere."

The weak smile she gave him as her fingers softly caressed his cheek was comforting. Oliver braced himself mentally for whatever Felicity was going to throw at him. He was ready for this. He had to be if he was going to keep her in his life.

"Oliver I… I love you," she whispered, unable to trust her voice as tears welled in her eyes when she finally admitted it - not only to him, but to herself as well. When Felicity saw the calm still present on his face, she continued. "I don't mean the 'you're my best friend, I love you' way. I mean the 'I've fallen head over heels in love with you and there's nothing I can do to stop it' way." She paused for a moment, hoping to see some kind of reaction from Oliver, but he was unreadable as ever, so she continued.

"I know you're most likely not ready for that, but I thought you should know because I want there to be an open line of communication between us. I want you to still be able to trust me the way you always have. I don't care if you can't or won't love me back. I'll get over it if you don't. But I need you to know that I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here for you no matter what. Feelings aside, you've become something more to me than I ever could have imagined. You've become family. You'll always be in my heart because I care about you and I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me." Her voice finally cracked with that last line because it made her think of Laurel. A tear slipped down her cheek and his hand was there to wipe it away.

Oliver remained silent for quite some time as he took it all in. Felicity loved him, really, truly loved him with all her heart. And it terrified him, not just because she'd admitted it, but because he was beginning to feel it too. His thoughts had been swirling around his feelings for the petite blonde for a while now. It was a wakeup call finally hearing her speak her mind. 'I don't care if you can't or won't love me back…'

'I do love you,' Oliver thought, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words out loud. He wasn't ready yet. "I'm scared, Felicity," he finally said as he looked into her sad blue eyes.

"Of what?" she asked, her voice overflowing with so much raw emotion that he could barely handle it. She looked so hurt, so desperate at that moment.

"I don't know if I can protect you," Oliver sheepishly admitted. Her hand came to rest under his chin, bringing it up so their eyes met.

"You won't always be able to protect me, Oliver. It's just the nature of our work," Felicity tried to reason.

"Work I never should have brought you into," he replied. She put her fingers to his lips.

"I knew what I was getting myself into when I joined you and your band of merry men, er, man… whatever," Felicity said then sighed. "What I wasn't anticipating was how much I would enjoy doing it. Helping you has brought purpose to my otherwise boring life. I don't think I could go back to being just an IT girl anymore. But if I had to, I would."

"I don't want you to go," Oliver whispered.

"Then give me a reason to stay," she begged. "Tell me you need me." His hand stroked her cheek as another pair of tears slid from her eyes. Felicity was desperate to know what he was thinking at that moment. Her heart couldn't take this anymore. The deep fissures from having to carry the burden of her love for him had already caused irreparable damage. If he didn't say something soon, she would break.

The expression on Oliver's face remained unreadable, not giving away an ounce of his inner torment. His heart broke seeing her like this. Felicity had been his rock for the past seven months, and she was close to cracking if he didn't do or say something soon. But he just didn't know what.

"Oliver," Felicity pleaded as her bottom lip began to tremble.

He knew she'd reached her tipping point, and the only thing he could think of doing was leaning in and kissing her. But her hands quickly came to his chest and pushed him back as several more tears fell from her eyes. "No, no more," she cried. "I can't do this anymore! Not until you tell me. I need you to say it!"

It was at that moment Oliver finally realized he couldn't be afraid anymore. He needed to stop living in the past and start looking towards the future. Felicity was his future. Time and again, she'd proved her loyalty and her love. There wasn't a single thing she wouldn't do for him. Although Laurel had been his reason for living through hell for five years, Felicity had become his reason to keep living. He'd come to rely on the comfort and peace she'd brought to his life. If it hadn't been for her, he would have died last night.

Taking her face in his hands, Oliver looked her straight in the eye and said, "Felicity, I need you. I don't want you to go. I want you to say."

"Why?" she asked, still searching for answers. She wasn't going to let this go, not until he finally admitted his feelings for her.

"Because…" Oliver took a moment to compose his thoughts. His mind told him to choose his words carefully, but his heart told him to quit listening and just say what he felt. Unfortunately his head won out. He lost whatever he was going to say in the melee and watched Felicity as she pulled away from him. Her eyes shut as she wiped away her remaining tears before turning around and sitting up.

She was closing herself off just as he'd done the other day. The pain it sent searing through his heart was unbearable. Was this how she felt when he'd done it to her? Oh, god, if it was, Oliver didn't think he could forgive himself. Just as Felicity began standing from the bed, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back so they were facing each other.

"Please, don't go," Oliver begged.

"Oliver, I can't keep doing this," Felicity sighed. "I don't even know what we  _are_  doing."

"Falling," he simply replied.

"What are you talking about?" She sounded slightly annoyed as she shifted so she was sitting cross legged beside him.

"What I mean is,  _I'm_  falling," Oliver said. He sat up and gazed at her. The sudden understanding in her eyes gave him the courage to continue. He knew if he didn't talk to her now, he'd lose her, lose the love she was so easily giving to him, lose the one thing that was good in his life. That scared him more than anything.

"I let my walls come down for you. I let you in when I shut almost everyone else out. You know me better than I know myself sometimes, and I can't think of living my life without you in it," he explained. "I've fallen for you, Felicity. You're the only person in this world who has so readily accepted me for who I am, and I've been too selfish and stupid to see it until now - until I realized I might lose you. I can't lose you. You're my redemption."

Her eyes were wide with shock. Felicity had been expecting him to give her a few Oliver Queen lines, but the truth had been a surprise. It stunned her into silence for the first time since they'd met; a rare feat for a woman who couldn't keep her mouth shut longer than a few minutes. She just stared at him, absorbing what he'd just told her.

"Felicity, please say something," Oliver said, reaching out to take her hand. It slipped into her palm and he gently squeezed her fingers.

'I've fallen for you… I can't lose you. You're my redemption…' The words played over in her mind a few more times before she finally realized he had actually admitted his feelings for her in a roundabout way that only Oliver Queen could. Felicity's heart leapt in her throat as she glanced down at the hand gently squeezing hers then at the man who's eyes were so breathtakingly open and honest she couldn't believe it was the same person she'd stared at a few minutes ago. The power of the moment wasn't lost on her. She leaned in and kissed him.

"Does this mean you'll stay?" Oliver asked when she pulled away, a genuine smile finally appearing on his lips.

"Yes," Felicity whispered back before kissing him again. He pulled her into his arms and wrapped himself around her. She relished in the warmth of his body as one hand came to rest against the small of her back and the other tangled in her already wild hair.

His kisses were hot and desperate against her skin, leaving a fiery trail to the base of her neck where he'd marked her. Oliver paused, tracing his finger over the purple bruise that had formed there. "Mine," he murmured, pressing his lips to it.

"Yours," Felicity breathed as she raked her fingers through his hair.

Oliver rolled on top of her and placed a soft kiss on her lips as his fingers roamed her body. She moaned as they began to caress a soft, supple breast, his thumb teasing her nipple until it hardened into a little pebble. A gasp escaped her lips when his kisses trailed down along her neck until his tongue replaced his thumb. He rolled the little nub between his teeth until Felicity's head rolled back against the lavender comforter and she groaned his name. Oliver then switched to the other breast, lavishing it with the same delicious attention as the first.

Felicity ran her fingers through his hair as his lips traveled between the valley of her breasts and across her abdomen, stopping at her navel for a tentative lick. Her back arched, begging Oliver to go lower, and he obliged, burying his face between her legs. His tongue slipped across the wet folds, tasting her. She moaned, spreading her thighs wider to give him better access. As he continued to lick up and down her slick folds, Felicity bit down on her lower lip to stifle the moan from the pleasure radiating throughout her body.

"Oh, god, yes," she shuddered as Oliver's tongue slipped between her folds to find her clit.

Calloused fingers crept over her abdomen and found her breasts once more, fondling them as his tongue circled the small nub making her moan deeper and louder as her pleasure skyrocketed. Felicity could barely take it anymore as the beginnings of her orgasm began to flutter in her loins. Hearing her gasping breaths, Oliver pulled away to kiss his way back to her lips. As their mouths met, she tasted herself on his tongue, turning her on even more.

"Oliver," Felicity moaned when his rock hard cock pressed against her sex, waiting for entry. "Please," she whispered, her eyes locking with his to give him the silent permission he sought. Wrapping her fingers around the shaft, she guided him to her entrance. Oliver leaned down to capture her lips before his hips sank into hers and he was home.

"Felicity," he murmured against her ear as his right hand tangled in her golden trusses. His kisses trailed down along her neck and over her collarbone, nipping lightly until she gasped. Her nails raked down his back as his lips closed in on her breasts, pausing to suck on each sensitive nipple before moving back to her lips where they stayed as he began to thrust into her.

"Oliver!" His name spilled from Felicity's lips as her legs wrapped around his waist to pull him closer. Their hips met at just the right angle so with each thrust he rubbed against her clit and hit her g-spot. The fingers raking down his back sunk deeper into his skin as each thrust brought her closer and closer to ecstasy. It wasn't long before Oliver's long, gentle strokes had reached a fevered pitch. He pushed into her until the bed shook beneath them eliciting deep moans from his lover every time their hips met.

"Harder! Oh, please, harder!" Felicity was now screaming as she matched him thrust for thrust.

Pistoning into her hot core, Oliver knew it was only a matter of time before he pushed her off the edge. He could feel Felicity's walls clamping around him, holding him deep in her hot depths and refusing to let go until her head rolled back against the pillows, her eyes squeezing as she cried out his name. Her orgasm blossomed into an explosion radiating through every nerve ending in her body from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. Her nails digging into his back no longer mattered as her back arched up, her muscles stiffening and clamping down around his cock.

Oliver buried his face in the nape of her neck, his teeth sinking into the soft flesh as he tried to hold back the scream attempting to escape his lips. It didn't work as well as he'd hoped because moments later her name came spilling out. His body shook as the mind blowing orgasm ripped through him.

Never in his life had Oliver felt something so powerful. It almost knocked the wind out of him as he collapsed over Felicity's body, unable to move, unable to breathe. He lay there, waiting for the waves of pleasure to subside before realizing it was okay to breathe again. It didn't mean he could move, though. He was still paralyzed, the sweat pouring off his body as he felt Felicity gently stroke his back as her lips pressed soft kisses to his forehead and temple.

Using every last ounce of energy he had left, Oliver rolled off her body and onto the mattress beside her. She lay on her side and watched him, her fingers brushing away the beads of sweat that dripped down along his cheeks. He turned his head slowly to look at her and smiled, placing a hand over hers and moving it to his lips for a soft kiss.

"That was incredible," Felicity whispered, a smile playing across her lips.

Oliver simply nodded, unable to trust his voice at the moment. He was still too weak to talk, something she understood as her head fell onto the pillow beside his and a content sigh escaped her lips. Felicity closed her eyes, snuggling against his shoulder before passing out from exhaustion. He followed suit, but not before laboriously pulling her lavender comforter over their bodies and wrapping his arms around her.

When they woke up, it was nearly evening. The sun peeked through ashen clouds low over the horizon as Felicity stretched out to find herself sprawled across Oliver's chest. She nuzzled his neck, placing soft kisses against his collarbone until he stirred. His hand came to rest across her back as he bowed his head and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

"Hi," she whispered, gazing up at him with soft blue eyes.

"Hi," he rasped, a smile crawling across his lips. "What time is it?"

"Who cares?" Felicity said, rolling fully on top of his chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Pulling back, her fingers began to stroke across his cheek as their eyes locked. The heated gaze he returned told her exactly what she wanted to know. "We have all the time in the world, and, right now, it's just me and you. What would you like to do?"

"This," Oliver answered, capturing her lips again as his hands traveled down her back, softly caressing her smooth skin. He rolled Felicity onto her back again and she giggled when his fingers brushed over her ribs, ticking her.

"Sounds good to me," she said as she tilted her head up and reached for his lips once more.

The next several hours were spent in absolute bliss, kissing, touching, exploring to their heart's content. It was no longer just about sex. It was about making a deeper connection, of mind, body and soul. For the first time, they allowed themselves make love instead of just fuck. And when exhaustion finally hit well after the sun went down, they lay wrapped in each other's arms, her head resting against his heart as his fingers traced over her soft skin.

"You're amazing," Oliver whispered before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"So I've been told," Felicity replied, her fingers absently tracing one of his many scars.

"You know what's so amazing, though?" he asked.

"Hmm?" She glanced up to see him giving her an impish grin.

"Being inside you." It took all his willpower to say that without laughing.

Felicity groaned as she buried her face in his chest. "I'm never living that down, am I?" she giggled.

"Never," Oliver replied before capturing her lips with another kiss.


End file.
